Are You Sad and Grieving? -by Susie Daggett
When someone you love dies, your day-to-day thoughts and emotions can be filled with a host of regrets leading to deep grief or sadness. Your mind might be filled with stories of “if only I had one more day or could say what was on my mind.” If you regret not saying that last significant thing to your loved one, you may become hostage to moments of unpleasant memories and deep grief.
If an unresolved thought or memory holds you, the love you carry for the one who passed is not allowed manifest. By constantly grieving, your love is overshadowed by sad emotions. Would they want you to be sad? Or would they prefer you remember the love you shared?
Perhaps a childhood event or buried family issues comes to your mind. If not addressed, this issue can turn into a different level of grief. If you are holding a grudge against your parent for something that happened when you were ten, that event may need to be explored and forgiven. You can do this in person with the one passing, in your heart for yourself, or with a therapist, before or after death. It is freeing to release long-held thoughts that could be controlling your emotions and keeping you in a grief pattern. If you say what is in your heart, both of you can have a fresh road to travel.
While sitting with a dying loved one, you have the opportunity to express your love. Take a deep breath, look at your loved one (even if they are in a coma) and say those three magical healing words: I love you. Does that mean you need to love every minute of their life or every time you feel they wronged you? No, it means that you as a human love and forgive them and know they also are a human trying to make life work. This is heart and soul work. Doing this helps with grieving.
Grief, sadness, despair and heartache arise with the death of a loved one. Everyone copes with the pain of loss in his or her own unique way. There is no special magical way or time frame to enter or exit grief. Some will process their grief into a story, some will find ways to honor their loved one with an altar or memorial, some will stay closed inside, not allowing their inner emotions to be honored. In most communities, there are grief groups where experts can help as needed. May you find peace with your grief and sadness.
Suzie Daggett is an award-winning author of The Pink Door ~ Moms’ Journey to the Other Side, as well as the author of From Ego to Soul ~ Discover what your Soul needs and what your Ego wants; and PEARLS ~ 52 Contemplative Insights.
