Intentionally Slow -by Suzie Daggett
All my life I was the energizer bunny, intuitively making decisions in an instant, moving fast, thinking fast, working fast, creating ideas with speed. In my business life, I could figure out how to create an event or a healing arts directory and get the job done fast with ease (or so I thought!). As a mom, I could carry the babe, talk on the phone and make dinner. It was normal and natural. My nervous system, fueled by busyness, was my go-to; relaxing was hard. Now, however, I have intentionally decided to slow my thoughts, actions and deeds. My path is to be in a mindful state rather than to repeat old habits stemming from unconscious reactive attitudes.
Being a bonafide senior, I now choose to be more deliberate in my thoughts and movements. Perhaps this came about after my total knee replacement when new body parts changed my previous walking patterns. Perhaps it came from taking the time to watch how my busy mind did not keep up with my slower body. I realized my overactive distracted mind can easily cause problems. In a milli-second of mind wandering, red wine can be spilled on the light carpet, lids not tightened can cause a mess, moving too quickly causes my clumsy hands to be in the wrong place creating oops moments, tripping going up or down stairs could cause a tumble, driving too fast gets a ticket. It’s all about focus. Am I distracted with my overactive mind or am I aware of my surroundings?
Certainly we all slow down as we age. Our bodies are not 40, 50 or 60 anymore. We watch our body slowly change and mostly accept what is in front of us. But, our minds, that is a different story. I have yet to chat with anyone (other than long term practiced meditators) who have figured out how to slow their worry, distraction, future what ifs, past mistakes, general life fears, concerns for what or who is on your mind, or ideas of how life should or could have been. I now realize my future or past thoughts are a distraction to the present moment. This revelation has taken more time than I care to admit!
A class on how to live mindfully has helped considerably. Finally, with practice, I have taken the initiative and time to slow down as I learn to be in the moment. Over and over, I remind myself to stay present, breathe through rough times, focus attention on what I am doing rather than what is distracting me and to be kind to myself and others without judging. As I continue to practice being mindful, I find old habits drop by the wayside while new habits of pausing to consider action take hold. For instance, during a heated discussion, I might revert to old habits of quickly answering without really listening or taking a breath. With awareness and a mindful attitude, I now take time to pause, breathe deeply and consider my response. Mostly I am in the preschool of mindful living: however, I hope to graduate to mindful kindergarten as I continue to slow down and practice living with intention and awareness.
For more information on mindful living, consider reading Meeting the Moment with Kindness by Sue Schneider, PhD.
Suzie Daggett is the author of: The Pink Door ~ Moms’ Journey to the Other Side providing a roadmap to assist elders in their dying process and comfort the caregiver; From Ego to Soul ~ Discover what your Soul needs and what your Ego wants: and PEARLS ~ 52 Contemplative Insights. Suzie’s gift is to spin practical easily understood real life advice to bring clarity to everyday living.