On Resilience - by Lynn Kloss
As we age, there are many challenges that we perhaps didn’t consider when we were younger. Physically, our bodies change. I know in my case, I expected it, but I still found I was unprepared. Sometimes we find ourselves replacing social or work appointments with medical appointments. Emotionally, we have adjustments to make: retirement can open up time for travel and fun activities, but it can also leave us feeling lost without our former identity. Socially, we may find that our friends are in a different place than we are – perhaps dealing with illness or loss, still working, or parenting their grandchildren. If we have moved to be closer to children, we may find ourselves lonely and looking for new friend groups. These are just some of the scenarios that can lead older adults to grapple with depression, loneliness, and anxiety. But not everyone experiences those states; some people seem to be able to thrive as they age. How does this happen?
Researchers are finding that adults who are resilient can adapt to changes as they age more effortlessly than those who are not resilient. What does it mean to be resilient? Merriam Webster (2024) defines it as the “ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” As we age, we have accumulated more experiences and perhaps our ability to adjust to the challenging or adverse circumstances we face can predict how well we adjust to aging in general.
Like many others, I have faced some adjustments in my life. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in my early 30s, and I left my full-time employment after forty years and a stressful marriage after 35 years. I think that resilience of spirit is what helped me adjust to these dramatic changes.
In my case, I used a passion for learning to see my way to the next chapter of my life. After retiring I went back to college and completed my bachelor’s degree at age 68. I enjoyed it so much that I just completed my master’s at 71. Find your resilience in what you love – reading, gardening, volunteering, learning – there are many paths. Reframe adverse events to see the positive aspects within and resulting from them. Care for your spirit as you would a cherished child. Allow others to help you.
Lynn Kloss retired from a career in employee benefit consulting in 2016. She went back to school after retirement to get her Masters in psychology, with an emphasis on geropsychology. She has volunteered with seniors and dementia patients since retiring. She and her husband moved to Fort Collins in 2023. They love the weather and friendly people of Fort Collins. Lynn currently volunteers at the Aspen Club and the Museum of Discover.
